An Apology- An Excuse

We first started the blog (although it was hosted elsewhere) as a way to connect to family. It was used rarely as the process to post was cumbersome. I had to write the piece and then nag Jeff to add the html code to make it accessible. I don't like to nag and keeping up with the blog was an extremely low priority. At the time, no one really knew it existed.


Then technology improved, host sites began popping up everywhere, and it became within my skills to manage the blog on my own. No more nagging, an outlet to write, and the blog you know today was born. It was really rewarding! People read it and then called to ask other questions or laugh along with the 'joke'. I was motivated to write something every few days. Even if it seemed mundane to me, others rallied around it.


So we increased the functionality and extended the reach by making it public so our family across the state could access it as well. We enabled comments, posted more pictures, attached photo albums that would allow people to print pictures instead of calling and trying to describe which one they wanted and in what size. Surprisingly, no one commented. I'm not sure anyone has ever printed a picture although I know people look at them. Sometimes.


My motivation started to ebb away and so did the postings. Then Jeff had a brainstorm! For Christmas (2 years ago), he decided he would turn our blog into a coffee table book. I was delighted and thrilled with the idea. Knowing it would be a record we could look back on in our Alzheimer's Days, I began posting a couple of times a week again. I recruited help in proof reading for basic grammar errors. (Ever notice how many times I've typed tot he instead of to the? I do..... but only upon review months later.) Jeff transferred it, painstakingly, to a format that could be printed through one of several websites. He added pictures, saved the kids quotes, etc. It was beautiful.


It's still sitting in a file on his computer waiting to be proof read and the money to print a 90 page full color book. It won't be cheap. I wonder if it will ever be finished. It has certainly stopped being a motivator. Year two hasn't been started yet.


Then he had another brainstorm. Link the blog to facebook so people don't have to visit it personally. A new motivating factor was born. People started commenting again! But like the other trends, fewer and fewer people commented or even pressed the like button. 


Today marks the 28th day since I last posted. There are things I have wanted to say. We visited my sister in North Carolina and spent an extended weekend in South Carolina where we visited friends and spent some time just being the four of us. We came home to a wonderful 4th of July weekend filled with fireworks, fire flies, a bonfire, and memorable trip to the living history museum known as Old World Wisconsin. Xander learned to ski and earned his yellow belt in karate. Eva has been referred back to a GI specialist.


Those are the things I sat down with enthusiasm to write about tonight. Instead, they share 2 sentences and I've written what feels like a good-bye letter. I question more than ever what the worth is in continuing this blog. I know there is long-term worth. (The kids will eventually have dates and probably children of their own. Those things beg for embarrassing stories and evidence of such occurrences.) Right now, I lack the motivation.